meaningless

Posted: December 26th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Fiction | 1 Comment »

here’s another story i wrote a really long time ago. enjoy-

He was my first (not ever, but meaningless) and I wondered, but somehow knew he wouldn’t be my last. I remembered a lot about it. How we talked for an hour without touching about nothing but our favorite band before he got the nerve to touch me. How he asked before he did anything. The way he carried me into his bed. How thin his lips were. How his kiss was strangely erotic. How his hairy chest felt so nice rubbing against my bare breasts. How he asked me if I “wanted him inside of me”. How I had to pull him into me. How our love making was so quiet. How our bodies moved together so eloquently like we had had years of practice together. How the loudest sound was a quiet push of air from his chest when he came. How he got up to turn the heater off when I said I was hot. How he looked so disappointed when I said I had to go and walked out before he could say anything. These things are very clear in my memory now, but I know they will fade.

The next day he told me he was going home over winter break but he wanted to get back as soon as possible. I spent the whole vacation wondering what could become between the two of us. Students slowly came back home after Christmas. His roommates returned without him. When I asked, they said he had gotten back with his ex. The news was not that surprising but made my skin and my mind go numb. I was nothing but a wake up call to what he didn’t want in his life. When he finally arrived back home the day before school started back, I acted casual to ward off any awkwardness. He still pursues me when he’s drunk, but now he apologizes when he’s sober.



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