China
Posted: November 20th, 2009 | Author: Christina | Filed under: Discussion | 6 Comments »Word up. So, my life has changed radically since my last post. I moved back to Tallahassee and decided to go to China. I am now in China teaching English at a private Language school. Of course I am writing though sometimes I feel too overwhelmed to get anything out much less organize it, edit it, and develop it into one piece.
Any tips are welcomed…where to start?
Sitting in my living room, on this turquoise arm chair, there are two of them, with the coffee table pressed right against the front of the chair with my laptop on the table, with the television on in front of me with blaring Chinese, some infomercial that always comes on about some hair growth product, thinking about where should I start. I am living in china teaching English at a private language school named XX in XX, the largest city in south China. There are so many things to write about that I am having a hard time finding the beginning idea. Something big, something small? How can I write about everything without having a beginning or an end? Should I start with all the little children peeing and spreading excrement in the streets, with their mothers holding them so they don’t soil themselves, or the grown men peeing in the streets, perfectly sober, or maybe the little dog I have seen twice today running around without an owner but yet a muzzle over his mouth; how does he eat? I am too scared to remove it thinking it is there for some reason. Should I discuss the cultural differences or similarities between China and my homeland America? Maybe the misconceptions both Americans have and Chinese have about each other. For instance, America is not heaven and China is not hell. Should I talk about the friends I have made in Zhuhai or how my boss Collin told me I could borrow his cat if I was too scared there was a ghost in my new apartment? The ghost is gone now and I finally know how to work my hot water heater, now if I only knew where to put my garbage. Should I write about my lonely nights and the emptiness of searching for something to watch on Chinese television? What about the nights I can’t stop reading even though I know I will be terribly tired the next day at work, but the book is so satisfying and I am reading so smoothly it is something I just can’t sacrifice no matter how great my will. I need to take up yoga or go running or something to get out this excess of energy because of my lack of physical, social, and sexual exertion. Sooner or later I will make friends with people whom I do not work with or teach but until that day comes I should somehow appreciate all this damn alone time. It is kind of hard to meet people though when all the bars are so expensive and you work nearly every damn day of the week, not to mention the incredible language barrier. I should definitely at some point share my experience of puking in my mouth and swallowing it on the ferry from Hong Kong to Zhuhai where Meiling was picking me up to take me to my new dormitory and show me around the Gateway Language Village where I would share so much with so many, where I would meet a Chinese boy who would ask me to marry him and have his babies, where I would make great friends with people in my teaching English as a Foreign Language certification course with TEFL. Bar Street, coffee bars, the UBC, seeing Katie cry and fighting with Robert and Michael, the feeling of teaching for the first time, the joy and fear and feeling of vast accomplishment. The feeling of seeing my president on Chinese television talking about sending more troops into war in Afghanistan, contemplating whether or not it would be worth it to go on a walk in search of cheap Chinese cigarettes.
Culture so rich and deep but yet there is still this odd worship of the west and our wasted icons such as The Back Street Boys, Brittney Spears, and Michael Jackson. Dead as he is he is still very much alive in China.
The smells I experience everyday while walking to the metro entrance on my way to work coming from the green water mass, the men that stare at me everyday and the men that are too consumed with their card game to look up and gawk at an innocent young foreigner, what it feels like to be the only white person in sight. Babies without diapers but instead built in holes so they can…?
How do I turn everything I have seen and done into one coherent piece? How do I get back into writing poetry? How do I quench my thirst for knowledge when there is so much to know and so much to study and when most of the time I am too tired or lazy to study or write and when the internet does not work in my living room where I would prefer to work?
i absolutely did not say yes to the chinese boy by the way; just wanted to add that in.
Dear Christina :
The innocence of the new lao wai teacher in China is a never ending source of humor for those of us that have been here a while.lol Don’t worry kid it’s all uphill from here.
I have two observation and one piece of advice for you Christina.
Observation : Whoever told you China is NOT Hell was lying to you. The Chinese will do that for a while. They’ll do anything for a while to keep the lao wai happy. And then just like that those two weeks will pass and you’ll discover exactly what you’ve done to yourself. Trust me Christina ANY country where Michael Jackson and The Backstreet Boys are STILL popular is most assuredly Hell or at the very least Hell’s suburbs.
Good luck with your sexual frustration problem. I doubt you’ll solve it any time soon. Sexual frustration is the National Sport in China. lol
Advice : Run far — run fast — run long. !!
I’ll be checking on your progress. Just in case something should happen though can I have your property? lol Joking !! Joking !!! Don’t believe those stories about lao wai making involuntary organ donations at " hospitals " in Liaoning Province. lol You’ll be fine —- probably.
You are so very prompt. As I am sure you noticed, I wrote that over a year ago and have learned so much since then. You really think I should RUN RUN RUN and get the hell out of here? I am adicted to the feeling of awe I do believe. I actually left China for a while; I was here for 14 months then I went home for 2 and a half months for holiday then I came back to start working for a different company. They are super nice at my new company, much better than my last
At times I have felt like ‘why am I here, what was I thinking’ but it eventually passes, rather, it comes and goes in waves. Most importantly, I think Chinese people and foreigners can both benefit greatly from exposure to each other. Just think, with a population as huge as China has..if they weren’t exposed to outsiders..think about what could happen..dreadful eh?
Dear Christina :
Is it safe to assume that you’ve not had the time to visit my site yet?
It is safe to assume that. Are you talking about the shutterfly website? I am sorry; I am super busy working and trying to write in my spare time as well as keep up with a social life and not go insane, and I have three hours commuting every day. There is no excuse though. You meet someone and they check out your site, which I really do appreciate, and you definately should check out their site, which I will do promptly after I post this message.