typical trouble between the sexes, thought example

Posted: March 9th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »

I don’t appreciate him not calling me when he says he is going to call me and every time he does it he has some reason and he says sorry and I say it’s ok don’t worry about it love but how many times can he do this and it will still be ok? How many times can he do this before he thinks he can just not call me back and say sorry and everything will just be ok? How many times can this happen before he takes me saying it is ok for granted? How many times can he do this before he thinks I should always just say it is ok? How many times do I have to think about this before I say fuck it? The time might be approaching. He fails me so much, can he possibly stop or change? I am not saying that there shouldn’t be allowances made and I am not saying that I want him to not feel free, like if for some reason I couldn’t call him back when I said I would I don’t want to have to worry about him being crazy upset about it, but if do it again and again and again, I might understand him being upset. I am the only one who can be at fault here. He can not call me back again and again and the only person who can be at fault is me if I get upset about it. What I want is to be done with this relationship. I don’t want to be done with him; I love him with my whole heart, but I want to be done with caring so much about it. I want to be done with wondering if he is the perfect man for me. I want to be done with wondering if he could possibly be all the things I want and need him to be. I want to be done with wondering if he could be strong enough to be with me. I want to be done wondering if he is mature enough to handle such a relationship as we have. I want to be done with wondering how serious he is about this relationship. I want to be done with wondering how long it will take before we at least get engaged. I want to be done wondering how long it will take before we get married. I want to be done wondering about all this. If it were meant to be wouldn’t it just be and I wouldn’t have to worry about it? There are countless other people who are able to make this happen but I can’t seem to get a guy to marry me. Is there some trouble with me or do I just keep picking the wrong guys who could see themselves with me in the long run but aren’t actually ready to make that step of commitment. And if they are not ready shouldn’t that be a sign that they might never be ready and I should leave them behind and learn from the relationship? He doesn’t think he has to do what he says and he thinks I should always be understanding about it then he thinks he can just put me and my feelings on hold and deal with them when he is available. This is in no way good for me. I lay there like a naked slab of meat for him to jerk off to and this is how he treats me? Fucking fabulous. It is likely that all men fail, almost all the time.



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