Central Pooling

The sprinkling fire coming from my pores
Speaks of unrequited majesty
Bleeding green ooze followed by
Bone deterioration and weakening ores
Cells struggling under tar pulling
Dying arms and fists up into the air
Emaciated little bundles of flesh
Too dull to snap falling back
The earth confiscated what was once
Flying around mazed and incomplete
Oily rainbow pool at the center
Rippling out reverberating endlessly
Never reaching another entity

waiter

I can’t care
I don’t want to
I wouldn’t dare
If I didn’t love you
But what am I to do
If I can’t have you
Because you are such a big fucking prick
But you aren’t
Am I?
Maybe
But who am I to decide that

You are you I am me
But you fucked around
You made a fool of me
But I don’t care so much
About being a fool
Just that you thought
You could love another
Girl

Shouldn’t I just break
Away
Surge through
Find something anew?

I can’t get fast enough away from you
You rot my brain till nothing remains
But an empty skull
Aching in misery
You scooped it all out of me
Everything that held you there
You fawned on another
Thought you not mine
Fuck that I say
I cannot heal
Rather I just ban you to the side
Away
Out of sight
Where you will become just a
Hopefully fond memory

You are sweet
But you make me sick
I love you
But I can’t imagine how
Love must be so great
I must be good at it
Many have tried and failed
Will that be your fate?

All over what?
A wondering EYE
A healthy lust
Ego
Not calling me

I refuse to care
Because it makes me crazy
And despite what some think
I don’t like to be too crazy
Just a little
Bit
Is nice

But YOU
What have you done to me?
Made me a horrible evil mockery
I don’t know my place
I don’t know my mind
All I do is search you out
To find your hidden love
That you only give me
Sometimes

So what do I do?
Wait
Wait

For potentially nothing to come?

No, that is not my fate.

leaver

You swirl in your color
Bright lights and shinny music
With your hair down
Like boys can do
Not just you
And you make your happiness
Not set out for two

You have it all alone
And unto yourself
Where am I
Alone in my house?
Absolutely not
But it feels like it

Who could you be?
Cept’ not the person I see
Always
Confused and in
Proximity
To the unearthed truth
That you are not mine

When will I realize?
Will time keep marching on
Without that burst of
Clarity?
Will you keep using me
For what I am not
And only to you seem?

Everyone else knows
I am me
But you think
I am yours for
Destruction
You will destroy me
Alone forever into fire
The fire that springs up
At your death

And where are you now?
Not with me
Somewhere else
Somewhere in infinity
Making juice with others
I am out in the cold
I have found no other home
Where are you?
Not in my bed
Not in your home
Just in my head
And out fucking alone
With tons of people

How can I not mourn you?
How can I find the place
In my head where
It is ok to live without
You?
I don’t know if that place
Exists
But it must
Because I was me
Before you

So what
Should I stray
Forget
Roam?
But I can’t kill you
I don’t even want to try
You will always be
In my mind’s eye
I cannot unclench my hands
Though they are turning red and white
With effort and failing strength

I am spinning spinning
About to vomit
Regurgitate the slim
Of my

American relationship.

shizer

Forget this
I have no time
Not for you
Not even for me

I will go far
Very very far
And all will be
Well
Without the need
For forgiveness’ deed

You will stand
Alone on a hill
And wonder oh
Wonder
What I will do
Now

You say
I have no light
In my heart
I am dead matter
Without a soul
Some mere energy
That has fallen away
From you

I cannot come
I cannot go
There is nothing
To do
But see and play
Which we will do

But when shall I kick
From beneath
The tear filled bag
I am holding back
Waiting
It will drown
Everything
Out

Then there will be no worry
Between you and me
All will be free

time march

The sprinkling fire coming from my pores
Speaks of unrequited majesty
Bleeding green ooze followed by
Bone deterioration and weakening ores
Cells struggling under tar pulling
Dying arms and fists up into the air
Emaciated little bundles of flesh
Too dull to snap falling back
The earth confiscated what was once
Flying around mazed and incomplete
Oily rainbow pool at the center
Rippling out reverberating endlessly
Never reaching another entity

Under the opaque surface she finds nothing she could have expected. Massive whales pushing against each other fighting for breath, wiggling like giant worms rubbing their ridges together, spurting slightly. Loud cries you can feel inside.

Where is the gold loopy music, the sound of people waltzing and laughing merrily? They all have homes and sometimes it takes a carriage to get to them. Wicked table cloths with silverware and people playing piano and string instruments, shuffling feet and speaking beneath their words, in and out, growing hair and nails until the insufferable moment where they pass away, and now they are in only movies, like in that jungle where the natives live, dancing around fire with the fireflies all around, the sounds of crickets and something roasting over the in ground grill. Screams of women being raped.

Moonshine brewer off at a distant alcove on his acreage, filled with trees hundreds of years old, next to a small body of water where the air is damp and the ground is moist, sweat beads up on your face and you can taste the green around you, mixed with fresh dirt. Walking out of the wood into a night air where beauty is all around you, diamonds in the sky, quiet wood structures and even a fragrant flower here and there, amongst the fleets of wild flowers on the outskirts, connecting one future road to another. The innocent scent of cow manure must be coming from the west skirted with barbed wired future fences.

nothing

Just a woman alone
Wanting to put it on someone
Music and whiskey
Wild teacher
Absence of loved apparent
What is the lost moment?
Captivating trance
Stay or go, but where?
Just want to share
My blue and green nails
Colors all over my body
The colors in my mind
I want to live in that trance
Everything else surreal
Day and night cream
Balled up fortunes
Longing for hidden talent
Stillness too hard to face
Personal belongings sitting
I am looking
The air in between
Sounds and motions unseen
Just me
Doubtable reality
An imprint will come out
Given the opportunity
China is unresponsive
Is someone knocking?
No one there
More whiskey, the last
An excuse to see
Is anyone at the door?
I walk in and out of these rooms smoking cigarettes

force me to…

Kill me now he will not stop.
I can’t even think; it is all over.
Keep keep no silence.
No room for me
Just this all surreal life
Which never ends
Just gets worse and worse
Until you want to stare
Off into nothingness
Idle dazed
A practice in patience
Will I die before I recover
Or will I break and kill
Will I stand and sail
Will I stay and mourn
Then triumph eventually
When I realize it is never over
Annoyance peaked
The words you don’t want
To speak to those who
You wish not to hurt
But you have to?
We do not know.
All I can do is lean back
Make a gesture of displeasure
While I listen to titanic
I don’t want to talk about
Nothingness, unless it is the kind
I experience
No small talk, just big empty
Abyss, smoothly furnished
Tears hung in mid air
Laws of physics and nature
Do not apply to my fear
It will not cease, only grow
Am I just exhausted?
Or is my world falling apart
Or was it… never is?
How about I say it doesn’t matter
Anyway, nihilist to the core.
It is hard to be happy when you
Cannot smile anymore.

swing

War of time
Battle of ages
Marked with ruin
Destined to dance
African face
Lit night
Milk cheeks
He stands alone
We watch
He rises
Our following eyes
Decline under the weight
Fire breathing
Everyone gazing
Shadow creeps
Faces ablaze
Swing jive
Bow jostle
Stomp stomp
Feel the earth shake
Watch the grass burn
Saliva dripping
Down all chins
A baby is born
We all stand
Our rocks still warm
Rattle little man
Move with the wind
Head back
Left right
Up down
We are still here
Captivated
All is in hush
Arms fall
Baby flailing
Commotion
Then
Silence

BBBB

Brief But Burning Bright or Ode to Christina’s Great-Grandmother

In the jazzy den of space,
All smoke and viscosity,
Big-swirl nebulas hang heavy
In the furniture.
In the dark corners, little eye-lights
Blink on and on.

Looking down at the rocks,
All wet with newness,
Big birds catch fire and crash
Into your deepest body
Of cool blue water.

Flung out on a lunar limb,
A million crescent miles rage before you.
Hugging the craggy underside of a cascade,
Missing your old mother’s mom,
Chest paining your breath,
Aches gnawing in your moonlight-white
Bones, she fired past burning bright.
In her way, in your fragility, you miss that bird
That flew by in your life,
Brief but burning bright.

not named yet and not finished. written in china..

Diamonds in Africa
Stone Bracelets in China
Rainbow thread in South America
A guy named Carlos
Baby seal soul on channel forty-one
Hair that can’t be cut with words
Ox atheist protection
Good luck and health
Little boy killers built by men
Everywhere
Pregnant best friend
White ladies with luring eyes
“I’m a print journalist, I drank it”
Americans buy the rocks
The whole race at gun point
Rush them aside; dismiss their life
The blind have the guns
Weak and angry with spirit
Rebels are taking the loot
While the drunken sleep on fire
Children lay their heads down and wait
To die or dance
Sneak through the light and smoke
Run through the dark and time
Dumplings and chop sticks
Forks and knives
Mothers and fathers
Offspring for sale
The great coiled snake dreams
He is a dragon
With pearls and rubies in his mouth
Blundering down the street
Confused as myth, secret as the meek
Raise the water
Kill the foe
Lesson the species, raise the price
Control us all
Refugee camps
Killing, trapping, enslaving
Doctors, lawyers, geniuses, better killers
All to maintain the imbalance
The axiom of power
The sacred comfort of few
The consumers who generate
The money to wage war
Control the supply and keep the demand high
Pay to keep the war going
How easy it is to brainwash a generation
Children walk in a line shooting
their blood bought weapons
While journalists swerve all over the road
Never getting anywhere besides
In a ditch
Quietly now, we must walk in the dark
With monkeys and crickets
Holding hands
Ivory, oil, gold, diamonds
Red roads
Sedimented death
Crass contempt, foreign liars
We build this world bone by bone
Blood white hands
No tooth brush just stench
Who are we
but those who didn’t die?
They all turn black
We are all each other’s own people
I guess we all have to kill a child sometime
Who are you working for?
Hunger turns us into irate irrational emotional fools
Ink turns us into mercenaries (martyrs)
Bombs turn us into insects
Drugs turn us into drones
Alcohol leaves us dry
Without memory of why
Pictures make us empty and others
Filled with envy
We are all slaves