Posted: March 10th, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | Tags: , , | No Comments »

How many brothels are in London? Why must police need performance incentive to take action against criminals? Why do people continue to find historical slavery appalling yet at the same time ignore modern day slavery? Why do people remain indifferent while millions of women, men, and children are suffering? Why is there such a lack of awareness about the issue and scale of human trafficking? If millions are forced into lives of degradation, who and how many are the people forcing them into it? Why would authorities and common citizens turn a blind eye? With so much sexual exploitation of women and children we must ask, what is happening with men? Why are men desirous of these types of actions? How many men are aware that so many prostitutes in brothels are actually being held against their will?
Men make the excuse that they didn’t know the women were being forced into this position, but this is a falsity…for there are men who, when with a prostitute sexually abuse and even kill the prostitute, certainly they know a woman would never willingly subject herself to this abuse. Then we must consider those men who capture the trafficked women, who force them into captivity and who rape them repeatedly before the women, or children, are even put into the market. These men do not care about the physical well-being of the individual woman or child; they do not care if she is in pain. They only think about their desires for sex, power, and dominance; what is causing the world to be riddled with these types of men? What is causing men to become like this? What makes men so bad? What makes people in general bad? What social constructs are being instilled that cause people to form behavioral tendencies that endanger others’ human rights? Where does this horrid lack of empathy come from? How are men able to be violent without for one instant sympathizing with their victim?
UKBA believes those trafficked are there by choice instead of forced and exploited.

“anti-slavery legislation aimed at requiring companies with turnovers above £100m a year to publicly disclose the efforts they are making to ensure that their supply and product chains and business practices are free from modern slavery.”
March 10, 2013

typical trouble between the sexes, thought example

Posted: March 9th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »

I don’t appreciate him not calling me when he says he is going to call me and every time he does it he has some reason and he says sorry and I say it’s ok don’t worry about it love but how many times can he do this and it will still be ok? How many times can he do this before he thinks he can just not call me back and say sorry and everything will just be ok? How many times can this happen before he takes me saying it is ok for granted? How many times can he do this before he thinks I should always just say it is ok? How many times do I have to think about this before I say fuck it? The time might be approaching. He fails me so much, can he possibly stop or change? I am not saying that there shouldn’t be allowances made and I am not saying that I want him to not feel free, like if for some reason I couldn’t call him back when I said I would I don’t want to have to worry about him being crazy upset about it, but if do it again and again and again, I might understand him being upset. I am the only one who can be at fault here. He can not call me back again and again and the only person who can be at fault is me if I get upset about it. What I want is to be done with this relationship. I don’t want to be done with him; I love him with my whole heart, but I want to be done with caring so much about it. I want to be done with wondering if he is the perfect man for me. I want to be done with wondering if he could possibly be all the things I want and need him to be. I want to be done with wondering if he could be strong enough to be with me. I want to be done wondering if he is mature enough to handle such a relationship as we have. I want to be done with wondering how serious he is about this relationship. I want to be done with wondering how long it will take before we at least get engaged. I want to be done wondering how long it will take before we get married. I want to be done wondering about all this. If it were meant to be wouldn’t it just be and I wouldn’t have to worry about it? There are countless other people who are able to make this happen but I can’t seem to get a guy to marry me. Is there some trouble with me or do I just keep picking the wrong guys who could see themselves with me in the long run but aren’t actually ready to make that step of commitment. And if they are not ready shouldn’t that be a sign that they might never be ready and I should leave them behind and learn from the relationship? He doesn’t think he has to do what he says and he thinks I should always be understanding about it then he thinks he can just put me and my feelings on hold and deal with them when he is available. This is in no way good for me. I lay there like a naked slab of meat for him to jerk off to and this is how he treats me? Fucking fabulous. It is likely that all men fail, almost all the time.

Brilliant video about illegal abortion penalties

Posted: January 22nd, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | 1 Comment »

While I am not super surprised that they haven’t considered the actual human consequences of their actions, this is craaazy!! A man asks a number of anti-reproductive choice advocates what should happen if abortion is illegal and women continue having them (which they will…they always have and do now in countries where it is illegal, i want to give the stink eye to the woman who says they possibly still will), what the penalty should be. They result is…well, here it is.

Abstinence-Only Clowns!?! Your tax dollars at work

Posted: January 21st, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »



Planned Parenthood Gift Certificates

Posted: November 26th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »

This is actually a really cool idea. I don’t see why that dude is upset about it…the ‘agenda’ seems to be women’s health…

Gift certificates for
Planned Parenthood

INDIANAPOLIS (WISH) – Gift certificates have become a popular holiday gift option, but a controversial new one, already has people talking.

For the first time, Planned Parenthood in Indiana is offering gift certificates. The organization said a big increase in calls and visits from newly unemployed and uninsured Hoosiers prompted what it calls the unusual, yet practical gift option.

"People are making really tough decisions about putting gas in their car and food on their table, so we know that many women especially put healthcare at the bottom of their list to do," said Chrystal Struben-Hall, Vice President of Planned Parenthood of Indiana.

The certificates come in $25 increments. They can be used for everything from birth control to $58 examinations that include breast exams and pap tests. Men who receive healthcare at Planned Parenthood can use them too.

"They can be seen for sexually transmitted disease screenings, HIV tests and general prostate exams and those kinds of things," said Struben-Hall.

Some Hoosiers 24-Hour News 8 talked to asked if the gift certificates could be used towards abortions. The answer is yes. But, Planned Parenthood said that’s not the purpose of the gift certificates.

Struben-Hall said, "They really are intended for preventative healthcare. We decided not to put restrictions on the gift certificates so it’s for whatever people feel they need the services for most."

Indiana Family Institute President Curt Smith said he is appalled by the certificates.

"I think the way to help family planning is to give the money where there’s no agenda. So if somebody wants to help a woman at a time of crisis, they can support the life centers throughout Indiana," said Smith.

Planned Parenthood hopes philanthropists look at it differently. The organization hopes people might purchase the certificates, and then turn them back in for their patients who need reproductive healthcare, but can’t pay for it.

Account of a Sex Party

Posted: November 12th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »

uuuummmmm…i want to go to one!!

Sex Parties Helped Me Overcome My Intimacy Issues

By Stephanie Auteri, The Frisky. Posted November 7, 2008.

Lately my libido levels had been low and intimacy with my husband was suffering. Was I really about to masturbate in public?

I double-checked my bag: Wallet, bus pass, lip gloss. A bottle of cheap wine. A variety pack of condoms. My favorite vibrator and a pair of handcuffs.

My husband and I were attending our very first sex party and — by god — I wanted us to be prepared.

I wasn’t sure what to expect that evening. My libido levels had been low as of late, and intimacy with my husband was suffering. As someone who often relied upon a vibrator, was I really planning on possibly masturbating in public? Were Michael and I actually going to pull out that set of never-before-used handcuffs in a public setting? Was I going to allow myself to actually feel something?

The lobby of the midtown loft our hostess had rented looked rundown and somewhat sinister. We took the elevator up to the fifth floor and paid $40 to walk through the entryway, into a lavishly decorated space.

As far as sex parties go, this one was cheap. Groups such as Chemistry were charging $100 per couple for entry to their parties, and One Leg Up was charging a $199 quarterly fee for membership alone, with some events costing as much as $350 per couple. This was a small price to pay, though. Members-only clubs with application processes and strict rules, they provided safe spaces for sexual play by way of their exclusivity.

We assessed the scene of our own sexy soiree. Our hostess was setting out Twizzlers and bowls of pretzels, while a girl with Technicolor hair stood behind a small bar, labeling guests’ liquor bottles. People were arriving in a trickle, dressed in anything from jeans and low-cut tops to corsets and striped stockings to fishnets and leather. Costuming and theme outfits were popular, and the crowd was creative.

We wandered around the loft, where people were slow to do anything but drink and chat. We pushed through hallways, around corners, through beaded doorways. We found an S&M room, for those who enjoyed flogging, bondage, and humiliation. The tickle room was filled with feathers and fluff and soft-to-the-touch cocoons. There was a room containing one enormous bed where, later in the evening, nude bodies would eventually clench and intertwine in a never-ending orgy. At the time, it was being used for a hands-on oral sex seminar.

Despite the décor, the whole affair had the casual air of a cocktail party. However, things were gradually becoming looser. A young man in the main cocktail area, wearing a shiny leather skirt and corset, worshipped a woman’s bare foot. Another man casually threw his arm about a girl’s shoulders, cupping her breasts, which were spilling out over the top of her corset. A scantily-clad woman lay on a table in the center of the room, with ice cream cones on each bare breast, offering herself up to the room at large.

It happened slowly, but the constant flesh and air of light-hearted debauchery made my skin tingle, my insides seize up. My nether-regions ached desperately. I hadn’t felt this way in months.

My husband and I retired to a dark corner, hiding behind shadows and corners and that cheap wine-buzz in our heads. We grasped at each other, his hand burrowing into the waistband of my jeans, my hand slipping easily into his boxer briefs.

And suddenly, there I was, having sex in public.

After months of resisting his advances, turning my back on him in bed, feeling guilt and frustration over my lack of libido, it seems that what I really needed was exhibitionism — and a scene dripping in sensuality — to get myself revved up.

Even if the number of parties we attended in the future was limited, this moment alone would provide us with endless opportunities for dirty talk.

"Hey, remember that time when we … "


Porn’s Dirty, Dangerous Secret

Posted: October 22nd, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | 1 Comment »

I’m not sure where I lay on the spectrum of porn-is-good – porn-is-bad. I like porn, usually, but I have to admit, much of it disgusts me for one reason or another. But who am I to take away your bukake or your tentacles? However, this man makes some really good points.

Sorry, no picture with this one :)

Porn’s Dirty, Dangerous Secret

By Robert Jensen, Last Exit. Posted October 21, 2008.

There are a finite number of ways that human bodies can fit together. So pornmakers resort to sexualizing degradation to stay "cutting edge."

Ed. Note: AlterNet has run a series of articles on the frequently ignored role of pornography in contemporary society. At the bottom of Robert Jensen’s article you can find links to more stories addressing the many questions that pornography poses.

There are a finite number of ways that human bodies can be placed together sexually, and as one pornography industry veteran lamented to me at the annual trade show, "they’ve all been shot." He sighed, pondering the challenge of creating a sexually explicit film that is unique, and mused, "After all, how many dicks can you stick in a girl at one time?"

His question was offered rhetorically, but I asked: How many?

Probably four, he said; simultaneous oral, vaginal, and double-anal penetration was realistic. Another producer later in the day told me he had once worked on a film that included a double-anal/double-vag scene — a woman being penetrated by four men at once. He said the director had a special harness made to hold the woman for that scene. In contemporary mass-marketed heterosexual pornography, it’s unexceptional to see a standard DP (industry slang for "double penetration," with two men entering a woman vaginally and anally at the same time) with oral penetration.

Whatever the number, theoretical or routine, the discussion reminds us that pornography is relentlessly intense, pushing our sexual boundaries both physically and psychically. And, pornography also is incredibly repetitive and boring.

Pornographers know all this, of course, and it keeps them on edge.

These days there are about 13,000 pornographic films released each year, compared with about 600 from Hollywood. Not surprisingly, a common concern at the Adult Entertainment Expo each time I attended (in 2005, 2006, and 2008) was that the desperate struggle by directors to distinguish their films from all the others was leading to a kind of "sexual gymnastics." Lexington Steele, one of the most successful contemporary pornography performers and producers, put it bluntly: "A lot of gonzo is becoming circus acts."

"Gonzo" is the pornographic genre that rejects plot, character, or dialogue, offering straightforward explicit sex. Gonzo films are distinguished from "features," which to some degree mimic the structure of a traditional Hollywood film. According to the top trade magazine: "Gonzo, non-feature fare is the overwhelmingly dominant porn genre since it’s less expensive to produce than plot-oriented features, but just as importantly, is the fare of choice for the solo stroking consumer who merely wants to cut to the chase, get off on the good stuff, then, if they really wanna catch some acting, plot and dialog, pop in the latest Netflix disc." ["The Directors," Adult Video News, August 2005, p. 54.]

In that description is considerable insight into why pornography (1) has always been boring and (2) will continue to become more brutal.

The industry works from the assumption that the men who consume the vast majority of commercial heterosexual pornography are not really human beings with hearts, minds and souls. In the porn world, a man is a kind of sexual robot in search of nothing more than the stimulation of pleasure circuits. In that world, the goal is to reduce human sexuality to the production of an erection and orgasm as quickly as possible — get it up and get it off, efficiently. Pornography assumes not that a man has a penis but that a man is nothing more than a penis.

The pornographer faces one serious obstacle in all this: Men are human beings. No matter how emotionally deformed by the toxic conception of masculinity that is dominant in a patriarchal culture such as the United States, we are human beings with hearts, minds and souls.

No matter how much men try to cut themselves off from the emotional component of sex, that component never withers completely, and therein lies the potential problem for pornographers. When all emotion is drained from sex it becomes repetitive and uninteresting — in a word, boring, even to men who are watching solely to facilitate masturbation. Because the novelty of seeing sex on the screen eventually wears off, pornographers who want to expand (or even just maintain) market share and profit need to give their products an emotional edge of some kind.

But pornography doesn’t draw on the emotions most commonly connected with sex — love and affection — because men typically consume pornography specifically to avoid love and affection. So, the pornographers offer men sexual gymnastics and circus acts that are saturated with cruelty toward women; they sexualize the degradation of women. While most of us would agree those are negative emotions, they are powerful emotions. And in a patriarchal society in which men are conditioned to see themselves as dominant over women, such cruelty and degradation fit easily into men’s notions about sex and gender.

When I offer this critique to men who are avid consumers of pornography, they often tell me that I’m wrong, that they watch gonzo and don’t see the kind of cruelty and degradation that I am describing. They tell me that that there’s no cruelty in a woman is being penetrated in aggressive fashion by three men who call her a whore throughout the sex. They tell me that when five men thrust into a woman’s mouth to the point she gags, slap a woman in the face with their penises, and ejaculate into her mouth and demand that she swallow it all, there’s no degradation.

In some sense, they are telling the truth — they aren’t seeing the cruelty and degradation because they are too caught up in the sexual arousal, and in such a state their critical faculties are derailed. They don’t see it because they are men in a patriarchal culture focused on their own pleasure. To see the woman as a person deserving of respect — to see her as fully human — would interfere with getting it up and getting it off.

When I was a young adult who used pornography, I didn’t see it either, because I had a stake in not seeing it. That’s why after an orgasm I would quickly leave the theater or adult bookstore. That dates me, I know; my pornography use came before the VCR brought pornographic films into the home. But the pattern endures; many men I talk to today tell me that after masturbating they quickly take out the DVD or shut off the computer to avoid really seeing what is taking place on the screen. To slightly revise a cultural clich, when the little head’s work is done, the big head re-engages. When the sexual experience is over, men can think, and when men can see the reality of pornography’s contempt for women most don’t want to watch.

These are general observations, an attempt to identify patterns in pornography. But the world is, of course, complex. There is considerable individual variation in the human species; not all men watch pornography for the same reason or have the same experience. And among those 13,000 films each year, there is variety. But there is a pattern to men’s consumption of pornography and the industry’s strategy to keep men consuming:

* Heterosexual men tend to consume pornography to achieve sexual satisfaction without the complications of dealing with a real woman. * Pornographers deliver graphic sexually explicit material that does the job, but to do so they must continuously increase the cruelty and degradation to maintain profits.

Gonzo producers test the limits with new practices that eroticize men’s domination of women. Less intense forms of those sexual practices migrate into the tamer feature pornography, and from there in muted form into mainstream pop culture. Pornography gets more openly misogynist, and pop culture becomes more pornographic — many Hollywood movies and cable TV shows today look much like soft-core pornography of a few decades ago, and the common objectification of women in advertising has become more overtly sexualized.

Where will all this lead? How far will pornographers go to ensure their profits, especially as the proliferation of free pornography on the internet adds a new competition? How much eroticized misogyny will the culture be willing to tolerate?

When I ask that question of pornography producers, most say they don’t know. An industry leader such as Lexington Steele acknowledged he has no crystal ball: "Gonzo really always pushes the envelope. The thing about it is, there’s only but so many holes, only but so many different types of penetration that can be executed upon a woman. So it’s really hard to say what’s next within gonzo."

What’s next? What comes after DPs and double anals? What is beyond a "10 Man Cum Slam" and "50 Guy Cream Pie"? I can’t claim to know either. But after 20 years of researching the pornography industry as a scholar and critiquing it as part of the feminist anti-pornography movement, I know that we should be concerned. We should be afraid that there may be no limit on men’s cruelty toward women. In a patriarchal society driven by the predatory values of capitalism, we should be very afraid.

For further reading:

Strange Bedfellows: Can Feminism and Porn Coexist?

By Nikko Snyder, Bitch Magazine

Is Pornography Really Harmful?

Michael Bader, AlterNet

Art and Porn: An Interview with Editor Dian Hanson

By Liz Langley, AlterNet

See more stories tagged with: incompetence, oligarchy

Robert Jensen is a journalism professor at the University of Texas at Austin and board member of the Third Coast Activist Resource Center. His latest book, All My Bones Shake: Radical Politics in the Prophetic Voice, will be published in 2009 by Soft Skull Press. He also is the author of Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity (South End Press, 2007). His articles can be found online at

Get Thee to Alaska

Posted: September 23rd, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »

whether your het, bi, lesbian…as long as you’re a woman, Alaska is sortof sweet!

It’s a Long, Lonely Search for Men Looking for Love in Alaska

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Published: July 21, 2004

It was late on a summer evening at a saloon on Front Street in this dusty mining and fishing town on the Bering Sea, and the men were excited.

The bar, Breakers, was packed. And standing on the beer-stained floor was a most unusual sight for Nome’s many bachelors: women.

There they were, an oasis in the Arctic, shooting pool, giving out phone numbers, dashing off to the restroom to apply lipstick, coquettishly sipping drinks bought by their suitors, including a popular cocktail, ”Love Me Tender,” made with gin and peach vodka.

”Aren’t they so fantastic?” one single man said to another. ”I wish they wouldn’t leave us.”

Summer is a time of hope for the unattached men of Nome, a tough gold rush town of 3,500 people in Alaska’s far western corner, where single men outnumber single women by almost two to one. Each June, with the midnight sun come the summer interns — this year, seven fresh-faced women in their 20’s from across the lower 48 states. They work on a nutrition project with Nome’s Alaska Natives and then spend many of their nights barhopping.

In July, a troupe of traveling strippers from Minnesota makes its annual stop in Nome; the other night, five topless dancers drew a huge crowd to another Nome saloon for their show, ”Erotica.”

Seth Augdah, 24, a ticket agent for Bering Air, attended the topless revue, and he was heavily flirting with the interns at Breakers the night before. But there was a certain sadness in his eyes.

”The summer influx is great,” Mr. Augdah said. ”But I would like something long term. My friends keep telling me, ‘Seth, one of these days, a girl will move to town, and she will be perfect for you.’ I’m still waiting for that day.”

Alaska is known for its abundance of single men. Gold miners, oil workers, hunters, trappers and fishermen moving here in droves to live out the fantasy of a rugged, prosperous life on the frontier, a fantasy not often shared by women. The latest census data show there are 114 single men for every 100 single women in Alaska, compared to 86 single men for every 100 single women nationally (and 80 to 100 in New York State.)

The current ratio in Alaska actually reflects a slight improvement, from the single man’s perspective, over 10 years ago. In 1990, there were about 94,000 single men and 75,000 single women, while in 2000, there were about 113,000 single men and 100,000 single women, according to the census. Forty-eight percent of Alaska’s 650,000 residents are women, according to the 2000 Census, up from 47 percent in 1990.

Complicating matters for lovelorn men, Anchorage and Fairbanks, the state’s two largest cities, are becoming the fast-growing hot spots of a new demographic — lesbians. Alaska now ranks 12th in the nation in its concentration of lesbian couples per capita, said Jason Ost, a researcher at the Urban Institute and the co-author of ”The Gay & Lesbian Atlas.”

The increase in the number of women here is largely because of the growth of urban areas like Anchorage and Fairbanks, where life has become much less isolated and difficult and therefore more appealing to women, experts say. The Internet and ”big box” stores provide the kind of conveniences that were lacking in much of Alaska until just a decade ago.

”What is happening is that the cities are normalizing,” said Judy Kleinfeld, a professor of psychology at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks, and the director of the university’s northern studies center, who specializes in gender studies. ”City life is just like life in the lower 48, and there’s no particular reason why women should want to leave.”

But Professor Kleinfeld, who has conducted extensive interviews with unattached men living in the bush, acknowledged that bachelors looking for love in rural areas of Alaska were still facing tough odds and that mail-order brides were common.

”In a place like Nome, they are still asking, ‘Where are the girls?”’ she said.

If the shortage of women is less severe now in the big cities, Jason Friars, 25, who lives in Anchorage, has neither noticed it nor reaped the benefits.

Mr. Friars, a hotel cook who moved to Alaska a year ago from California, was interviewed one evening at a downtown bar called Darwin’s Theory. When asked about the dating situation, he paused, took note of who was at the bar and announced bitterly that there were 22 men and four women, including a female reporter from out of town.

”I have one girl in mind right now,” Mr. Friars said. ”And she has 200 options.”

Repeating a commonly exaggerated interpretation of the male-female ratio, Mr. Friars said, ”The women up here, they know it’s 10-to-one odds, so they can be as picky as they want.”

There was some evidence of pickiness among women on an online dating Web site,, where an Anchorage woman recently posted a message headlined ”Bye Bye Losers.”

”I am a female who knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get what I want,” the woman wrote. ”That means what I want I get and I will not take no for an answer.”

On the same site, where there were significantly more Alaskan men seeking women than women seeking men, a man posted this message: ”Bushdweller seeks good woman,” saying, ”I live out in the Alaska bush 1/3wilderness$) leading a back to basic lifestyle. I have no electricity except when I use a generator. I haul water and heat with wood.”

A bartender at Darwin’s Theory, Brandi Domas, 31, said she saw many solo men at the bar.

”These guys are really sweet, and they should not be sitting here alone,” Ms. Domas said. ”I tell them to import, to go out of state, bring a girl back and then watch her close. Import, import, import!”

But the women had complaints, too, and it seemed, from dozens of interviews with singles across the state, from Nome to Juneau, in the southeast, that Alaska was embroiled in an intense war of the sexes. A popular cliché about finding a man in Alaska is, ”The odds are good, but the goods are odd.” A popular cliché about breaking up with a woman in Alaska is, ”You don’t lose your girl, you lose your turn.”

”Men? They are looking for someone who can skin a moose and bring home a sixpack of beer,” Liz Lynch, 37, a single publicity agent for an oil company, said. ”A lot of women out there say, ‘Get thee to Alaska.’ But they’re nuts. And I like a mountain man, a rugged individual, oh, my God. But these guys don’t commit.”

In terms of the male-to-female ratio, things have not changed much in Nome, famous for its rough saloons, its frontier state of mind and for being the last stop of the annual Iditarod dog sled race.

And Mr. Augdah, the wistful ticket agent, is not alone. Well, he is alone, romantically speaking, but he has plenty of male friends who are single, too. According to the Census, there are 598 unmarried men in Nome, not counting widowers and divorcees, and 344 unmarried women.

One of Mr. Augdah’s friends, Haven Harris, 25, an aide to a state senator from Nome, said that he had not had a girlfriend in years and that he was planning to move to San Francisco by the end of the year to find a woman. The ratio of single men to single women in California is 92 to 100, according to the Census.

Mr. Harris made reference to the long, dark, freezing, icebound winters in Nome, which is 100 miles south of the Arctic Circle.

”I want to live in Alaska all my life, but it’s hard being in the bush in Alaska when it’s so hard to find someone,” Mr. Harris said one night between innings at a softball game on a gravel field in the tundra. ”If you’re going to live up here as you get older, you’re going to want to be with someone.”

The interns, socializing later that night with Mr. Harris and Mr. Augdah, said they were warned about the male-female ratio before coming to Nome last month.

”My friends thought it was funny they were bringing all these nutrition girls to Nome,” said Kelly Keyes, a 26-year-old intern from Worcester, Mass. ”And they kept saying, ‘The ratio, the ratio, the ratio! It’s 30 to one!”’

”You get a lot of attention here,” Ms. Keyes said. ”The guys are like ‘Woo!”’

At Breakers, Mr. Harris was pulling out all the stops with Ms. Keyes and the other interns, massaging their shoulders, mentioning that he worked out five times a week, impressing them, he hoped, with his cue shots and quick wit.

But near 2 a.m., as the midnight sun was setting, he left the bar alone.

Correction: July 22, 2004, Thursday A picture caption yesterday with an article about the plight of single men facing a shortage of single women in Alaska reversed the identities of two men in some copies. Seth Augdah was at the right at a bar in Nome, next to a pool table; Haven Harris at the left.

Editors’ Note: July 23, 2004, Friday An article on Wednesday described the plight of single men facing a shortage of single women in Alaska. A photograph with the article, showing one woman and four men at a bar in Anchorage, was digitally altered to remove the photographer’s reflection in a mirror.

That should not have occurred. The Times’s policy prohibits alteration of news photographs except in the cases of collages, montages or fanciful contrived situations that are unmistakable to readers, and with explicit acknowledgment in a caption or credit.
Editors’ Note: July 23, 2004, Friday An article on Wednesday described the plight of single men facing a shortage of single women in Alaska. A photograph with the article, showing one woman and four men at a bar in Anchorage, was digitally altered to remove the photographer’s reflection in a mirror.

That should not have occurred. The Times’s policy prohibits alteration of news photographs except in the cases of collages, montages or fanciful contrived situations that are unmistakable to readers, and with explicit acknowledgment in a caption or credit. Correction: July 27, 2004, Tuesday An article on Wednesday about the plight of single men facing a shortage of single women in Alaska misstated the surname of a ticket agent who said he was looking for a long-term relationship. He is Seth Augdahl, not Augdah.

Eco Friendly Sex Toys (without toxins)!

Posted: September 17th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »

has some links to buy:

Eco-Friendly Sex Toys: Why Your Pink Parts Should Go Green

By Lora Somoza, Huffington Post. Posted September 12, 2008.

Phthalates — the scary chemicals found in most sex toys — are really bad for your health.

Here I sit in beautiful Southern California, land of the hybrid cars, cloth bags for groceries and recycled water bottles. So I knew it was only a matter of time before the collective consciousness started turning its attention towards the bedroom and people sought to become more environmentally friendly while being REALLY friendly with themselves.

No, I’m not talking about recycling condoms. Get your mind out of the gutter. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth just thinking it. I’m talking about sex toys and other sexcessories that are not only good for you down under but good for the whole planet.

Now I know some of you will think, "Fantastic! Where do I sign up?" But so many others will think, Oh brother, how lame can you get?"

Hey, I get it. I’m not saying environmentally aware sex toys are for everyone. Some people could care less about the so-called GREEN products and think those who do are a bunch of tree huggin’, sprout-eating humpers. That may be true. And that’s cool. You go enjoy your Hummers (The four wheel kind) and aerosol spray while leaving all the lights on. I’m not here to judge.

But for the growing number of people out there who are becoming more and more concerned with the stuff we eat / wear / inhale / stick in our private places, ask yourself this:

Why play green?

In one word: Phthalates.

What the hell are Phthalates, you ask? I wondered the same thing. Am I eating them, breathing them, wearing them?

If you answered, D) All of the above, you’d be pretty spot on.

Phthalates (pronounced FAY-lates) are these oil-derived chemicals that have been used in paints, in hair sprays, perfumes and plenty of other products. They are also used to soften plastics such as dildos, vibrators and ahem, butt plugs. And not just the grown-up toys, as children’s toys have used this chemical as well.

These phthalates have been found to allegedly pose a risk to human health and the environment. How much, no one knows for sure because there’s no human testing to see what, if any, is the permanent damage. But scientists have found that phthalates get absorbed into our bodies. So Europe banned the chemical from children’s toys permanently.

Plus GREENPEACE, (yes, THE Greenpeace) issued a TOXIC SEX TOY WARNING … (I swear I can’t make this stuff up. How hilarious and tragic is that at the same time?)

Click here.

The organization warned NOT to shove the "Spectra Gel Anal Plug" or the "Crystal Jelly Double Dong" where the sun does not shine, if you get my drift.

So I figure, if it’s a health risk to the kiddies, then it could be a health risk to my kitty.

And THAT is no bueno.

So what are frisky men and women to do?

Have no fear. Sex toy manufacturers and retailers to the rescue!

Companies like the Sweden based Lelo and Lodon based CoCo de Mer make all their sex toys with glass, jade or medical-grade silicone, making their darlings toxin-free. Other mega retailers like San Francisco based Good Vibrations are phasing out their products with phthalates and suggest using a condom over your favorite "friends" if you have any concerns.

Because apparently, a lot of you DO have concerns.

Cleo, the owner who runs the online women’s sensuality store,, has noticed a change in what her clients want.

"Women are very conscious of their bodies, and with almost all aspects, want to know what’s in all the products they use, from makeup to sexual stimulants. It was important that we supply products that our customers feel are safe, which is why we keep a variety of eco-friendly toys on the website."

I guess we’re entering an era of Even Safer Sex. Safe sex with yourself.

But the good news is if ever I need a reason to play with toys, I can always remind myself, "I’m doin’ it for the polar bears."

Ethics: Having sex with wife in coma?

Posted: September 15th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Sex | No Comments »

I think the sister has it right, here. he’s obviously a caring husband.

MADISON, Wis. — Police who videotaped a man having sex with his comatose wife in her nursing home room violated his constitutional rights, an appeals court ruled Thursday.

David W. Johnson, 59, had an expectation to privacy when he visited his wife, a stroke victim, at Divine Savior Nursing Home in Portage, the District 4 Court of Appeals ruled. Therefore, police violated his constitutional rights against unreasonable searches when they installed a hidden video camera in the room, the court said.

"We are satisfied that Johnson’s expectation of privacy while visiting his wife in her nursing home room is one that society would recognize as reasonable," the unanimous three-judge panel wrote.

The ruling means prosecutors cannot introduce the videotapes as evidence in their case against Johnson, who is charged with felony sexual assault for having intercourse with his wife without her consent at least three times in 2005.

Johnson’s attorney, Christopher Kelly, said his client would visit his 54-year-old wife every day, reading her the Bible and moving her arms and legs so her muscles wouldn’t atrophy.

The woman’s sister is upset that prosecutors brought charges against him, Kelly said. "She believes her sister’s husband was merely expressing his love for his wife and was trying everything he could to bring her back to consciousness," Kelly said.

The couple married in 1988 and had no children, Kelly said.

Kelly said he believed prosecutors would be forced to drop the charges without the evidence on the tapes and thought the appeals court made "a pretty obvious call."

Johnson’s wife was admitted to the nursing home after suffering a stroke. Court records say she was unable to speak or sit up, and nursing home staff members fed, cleaned and turned her. Prosecutors say she was comatose.

Johnson visited her frequently and sometimes would close the door to her room so they could have privacy as allowed by the nursing home. But staff members tipped off police, fearing she was in danger because, they suspected, he was having sex with her.

Police obtained a search warrant to videotape the room and installed the camera, which ran for three weeks. Johnson, who is free on bail, was charged based on that evidence.

Sauk County Circuit Judge Patrick Taggart tossed out the evidence last year, ruling it stemmed from an illegal search. Prosecutors appealed, arguing Johnson had a right to privacy when he visited his wife to care for her but not when he used the room for what they contend was illegal intercourse.

The appeals court affirmed Taggart’s ruling.